Watermark Books and Cafe

Recently, I flipped on KMUW, flopped down on the sofa to read, and then realized that the host of “Talk of the Nation” was interviewing the authors of the exact book I had in my hands. What a fun coincidence! Everything about this book, "The Secret Power of Middle Children," has been fun for me—and somewhat validating since I am a middle child myself. The stereotype of middle children as it relates to birth order has indicated that because middles are “lost” in the family, this neglect has created resentment, low creativity, a lack of career focus, a negative outlook on life, and the feeling that they don’t belong. Now I’ve been guilty of most of those accusations at one time or another, but who hasn’t? Instead, based upon their extensive research, the authors suggest that middle children actually thrive from that same lack of parental focus and attention. These are the characteristics they attribute to middle children (and ones I much prefer thinking apply to me!): honesty and integrity; empathy and tact; openness and flexibility; emotional stability; and self esteem. Yeah! Take that, all you first-born’s and youngest’s!! 

The term “middle” isn’t quite as simple to apply as it might appear. There are lots of factors that can skew birth order traits, such as gender (a middle boy can be treated as a first-born in a male-oriented family), age gaps (more than 5-7 years between siblings), modern family mergers, and even the degree of rebelliousness of a first born; i.e., rebellious oldest children in conflict with their parents can lead to a middle child taking on the characteristics of a first born. (Hmm... this seems to apply in my family.) 

With lots of case examples—many using famous middles such as Abe Lincoln, JFK, Bill Gates, and Jane Austen--this book offers advice on how to maximize the benefits of middle child dynamics, so whether you are a middle child yourself or the parent of a middle, you will find it a fascinating and useful read. According to the authors, the adaptive strategies middles develop as children translate into lasting marriages, stronger friendships, successful careers, and effective parenting. With over 70 million American adults being middles and 40 percent of American families today containing middle children, we are definitely a force to be reckoned with and no longer overlooked!  

Review by Shirley Wells

The Secret Power of Middle Children: How Middleborns Can Harness Their Unexpected and RemarkableAbilities (Hardcover)

By Catherine Salmon, Katrin Schumann

$25.95

ISBN-13: 9781594630804
Availability: Usually Ships in 1-5 days
Published: Hudson Street Press, 8/2011

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