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I Remember Running: The Year I Got Everything I Ever Wanted - and ALS by Darcy Wakefield
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“I remember running. I remember running like I
remember the sun-filled beach days of my childhood. I remember running like many
remember their first love, their first kiss, their wedding. I remember running
and feel the ache of absence, the heavy reminder that my life will never be the
same again. I am continuously mourning running.”
Darcy Wakefield was 33 years old, a runner, a teacher, and a vegetarian who looked after herself when she was diagnosed with ALS (Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis). Five months before the diagnosis, she met the love of her life. A few months following, she became pregnant, and within a year she bought and renovated a house (according to her changing physical needs), and planned her funeral. Within this year she also delivered a healthy son named Sam. ALS is known as an orphan disease: “An orphan disease is any disease that affects fewer than 200,000 people in the United States at a given time... there are 6,000 orphan diseases that affect 25 million Americans.” Darcy struggles to cope with her diagnosis: “But I’m with Steve now, and he and I weren’t in the same income bracket before I stopped working; he is a doctor and I was a teacher. Now the wage gap between us is wider than the Atlantic. And I’m staying home, all right, but I struggle to figure out how I can contribute, how I will find equal footing in a relationship I am entering at a financial disadvantage. Mind you, this is my issue - it doesn’t seem to keep Steve up at night- but if I want my contribution to our relationship, in lieu of money, to be household management, and in particular, cleaning, how will I ever do it? I’m not as agile as I used to be, and as it is, cleaning my three-room, first floor apartment takes planning and time. How will I clean a whole house by myself?” With eloquence, wit, and brutal honesty, Darcy’s essays inform the reader of the bravery and courage she must have in order to live with the challenges ALS poses. She reflects on the quality and effectiveness of body braces, on the experience of buying maternity clothes, on the transition from being one who can help to being the one who needs help, on wanting to swim in the ocean but lacking the facilities to get to the waters edge. Darcy imparts wisdom and appreciation for all the joy and tragedy that comes in a life. Review by Sarah Bagby, September 15, 2005
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